Gosh can't help it, when those words are used together I can't help but think of the song "Amazing Grace", and I have no doubts that I am not alone. I think at some point in each one of our lives we have all felt this way and can relate to that song.
Those that know me should not have any doubts about my love and devotion to God so this blog does not need to cover that.
I have lost so many things in my life but heck when you are knocking on 57 how can you not lose something along the roads we travel? We each make decisions in our lives that take us down a road that many in our lives just refuse to travel along with us so those loses are the hardest to bear at times.
Losing my health probably hit the hardest gosh I was just a young 30 years and my kids were still in there early teen age years. I grieve over the years lost there with them, oh I spent the time with them but I was not spending the time doing what I wanted to. I was one of those Mom's who got dirty with them, who played ball with my boys. Who got out there and helped them build that tree house, except we didn't have a tree in that yard so it was a fort build from the ground up. I had a very open relationship with my boys, wasn't a question they couldn't ask me that I wouldn't answer for them somehow of course at times they didn't get all the answer their little minds couldn't process the whole answer but enough to satisfy them until they could understand. We were 3 spirits roaming the country seeing all that we could take in with our eyes. People use to tell me that I needed to settle down and sink in some roots show the kids some stability, I am so thankful that I did not listen to them and allowed my wandering spirit to do as we did. We have some amazing memories that would be nothing more than dust in the wind if I had of. And life goes on, the seasons cycle around and my boys are now older than I was when I got sick.
Yes as I have traveled this road in my life I have lost a lot, as I said we all have. But I have found peace, I have learned to cherish those moments in my younger years that I was able to do those things and to hang tight to those memories, and learned to make more not only that I will have but those I love will have to see them through when they feel lost. I have seen people walk out of my life and felt my heart being torn out and discarded as though it was nothing more than trash to be thrown away. I have a saying to my kids and this includes not only those that I gave birth to but those who have chosen me as a Mom, when life throws you on the ground you have nothing left to do but stand up, dust off and go on, God does not give us more than we can handle or bear, at times it is hard but we do get through it. This to shall pass, if you can only hang onto that thought you will come through anything. My peace is in wishing each and everyone the best life has to offer, and knowing I have a wonderful lady by side every step of the way.
In the end God will take me home and there is no greater peace than that. No better way to be found.
Have a great week all, thanks for reading.
Blessings n' hugs