To be honest and write a blog about one year ago to be frank would be too painful, just can't go there, so instead will just post this, it does say it all.
Much love to you all
Jul
http://youtu.be/x8iTeDl_Wug
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A Labor of love the view of a Mother and her children.
A Labor of love the view of a Mother and her children.
Any of us who have been through childbirth know how painful yet joyful it can be to bring a new life into this world. Those of us who have adopted know the pain of waiting, praying, and hoping this will be the child. Anyway you look at it, it is a labor of love.
I want to concentrate on one Mother with this blog and her two awesome little girls. Okay now we all think our children are the best, they walk before any child ever thought of walking, they talk, smile and generally beat all of their peers out in advancing thought their toddler years, but these two little girls that I am blogging about are very special they are very unique and they are amazing little girls, because they have a Mother that is very special totally unique and with such a quiet soft spirit that moves with grace and understanding way beyond her years.
We were fortunate enough to have been invited to Jean’s house a few weeks ago, we were given directions which I got a giggle out of because of one of the landmarks this sweet lady would only put it was past the xxx store. Pretty easy to figure out her street was past the adult store, but her calling it the xxx sort of made me smile and touched my heart. Of course I messed up and didn’t quite understand her instructions, no we didn’t get lost, we did find the house just had to do a little stair climbing in order to get to see them all.
We were greeted by Tom and Jean invited in to meet the girls. They are so wonderful these two girls were very courteous and greeted us with huge smiles and told us they were working on the fruit kabobs, which indeed they were. They had made us some drinks which Jean offered us at the beginning of the visit, which by the way Jean, Cathy would love to have the girls recipe to make that drink it was delicious. The girls brought in the fruit kabobs and climbed up on the bar stools to join us. Huge smiles telling us to have some, which we did they were awesome they did a beautiful job. Natalie had left the room for a few minutes and Daddy had taken her chair, when she came back in she said very nicely Daddy may I please have my chair back, none of this “your in my chair” with demands.
Pearl gave us an mini-show of how well she can do cartwheels, I was impressed this child is very talented. I also took some time online and listened as well as watched a talent show that Natalie was in, the young lady has quite a voice, in all of this Jean is very encouraging to the girls, her presence is known to them as she is there recording all of this for the girls to have, will be cool for them to refer back to what they had done at a younger age to see how far they have come.
We then walked out to see the horses and feed them some carrots, of course Jean is a good Mom is ever so attentive with the girls making sure they are alright not in any danger. It was fun the horses are beautiful animals and Tom does enjoy his rides on them.
Back in the house to watch a video that the girls wanted to share and Natalie had a crystal she wanted to show us. Then they dug into the playdoh and proceeded to make all kinds of beautiful wonderful things, I know they were because there Mother made sure they knew she was proud of what they were doing. She asked the girls if they wanted the cookie cutters, Pearl wanted the little ones, only to be told Mom didn’t know where they were, was ok though Pearl did. With love and patience Jean lifted her up on the counter to pull the box down, the slight smile on her face said she didn’t mind doing anything this young spirit needed in order to grow and express herself.
Now I don’t hear very well, usually won’t go anywhere without my Cathy by my side as she tells me what is being said that I have missed and gives me a heads up on what is going on, but this gives me a unique advantage that I see way more than I hear, what I saw that day left me with a warm sweet feeling in my heart and such assurance that no matter what happens in life this one family here is going to be great.
You don’t hear any raised voices in anger in this house, could be that there is but we didn’t see any evidence of that really ever taking place. You don’t see any would you go play and leave me alone you see a total acceptance of these two little girls to be totally involved in their Mom’s life, was awesome to watch.
I know that in the years ahead as these two young girls grow and develop into young ladies that they have a basic solid foundation to build there personalities on, that they have the love and devotion of a Mom that really wears the fact that she is proud of her girls, that she will always encourage them to strive to do better and to try all those new things out in life. She is behind her daughters 150% and she shows it daily.
I am not saying that anyone is not a good parent if they are not this way with their children, I am only saying that this young woman so totally gets it, being a parent, that the depth of wisdom in this lady is astounding.
She totally understands that she was given a gift to share and she treats these gifts daily as a special privilege to have. Is easy to tell by the way these three interact with each other this is the normal routine they share with each other.
To you Jean I can only say kudos to being the kind of Mom that many kids long for. That you are doing an amazing job at being a Mother, and those two beautiful young girls that you are raising can only become a huge part of the solutions to some of the problems the world faces. It will be a privilege to watch them grow into beautiful young women, who I am sure will be very talented in many areas, cause they have a really cool Mom.
Please do not ever lose that quiet graceful spirit you have now, you will touch many many lives with your gentle nature.
Blessings n’ hugs
Jul
Any of us who have been through childbirth know how painful yet joyful it can be to bring a new life into this world. Those of us who have adopted know the pain of waiting, praying, and hoping this will be the child. Anyway you look at it, it is a labor of love.
I want to concentrate on one Mother with this blog and her two awesome little girls. Okay now we all think our children are the best, they walk before any child ever thought of walking, they talk, smile and generally beat all of their peers out in advancing thought their toddler years, but these two little girls that I am blogging about are very special they are very unique and they are amazing little girls, because they have a Mother that is very special totally unique and with such a quiet soft spirit that moves with grace and understanding way beyond her years.
We were fortunate enough to have been invited to Jean’s house a few weeks ago, we were given directions which I got a giggle out of because of one of the landmarks this sweet lady would only put it was past the xxx store. Pretty easy to figure out her street was past the adult store, but her calling it the xxx sort of made me smile and touched my heart. Of course I messed up and didn’t quite understand her instructions, no we didn’t get lost, we did find the house just had to do a little stair climbing in order to get to see them all.
We were greeted by Tom and Jean invited in to meet the girls. They are so wonderful these two girls were very courteous and greeted us with huge smiles and told us they were working on the fruit kabobs, which indeed they were. They had made us some drinks which Jean offered us at the beginning of the visit, which by the way Jean, Cathy would love to have the girls recipe to make that drink it was delicious. The girls brought in the fruit kabobs and climbed up on the bar stools to join us. Huge smiles telling us to have some, which we did they were awesome they did a beautiful job. Natalie had left the room for a few minutes and Daddy had taken her chair, when she came back in she said very nicely Daddy may I please have my chair back, none of this “your in my chair” with demands.
Pearl gave us an mini-show of how well she can do cartwheels, I was impressed this child is very talented. I also took some time online and listened as well as watched a talent show that Natalie was in, the young lady has quite a voice, in all of this Jean is very encouraging to the girls, her presence is known to them as she is there recording all of this for the girls to have, will be cool for them to refer back to what they had done at a younger age to see how far they have come.
We then walked out to see the horses and feed them some carrots, of course Jean is a good Mom is ever so attentive with the girls making sure they are alright not in any danger. It was fun the horses are beautiful animals and Tom does enjoy his rides on them.
Back in the house to watch a video that the girls wanted to share and Natalie had a crystal she wanted to show us. Then they dug into the playdoh and proceeded to make all kinds of beautiful wonderful things, I know they were because there Mother made sure they knew she was proud of what they were doing. She asked the girls if they wanted the cookie cutters, Pearl wanted the little ones, only to be told Mom didn’t know where they were, was ok though Pearl did. With love and patience Jean lifted her up on the counter to pull the box down, the slight smile on her face said she didn’t mind doing anything this young spirit needed in order to grow and express herself.
Now I don’t hear very well, usually won’t go anywhere without my Cathy by my side as she tells me what is being said that I have missed and gives me a heads up on what is going on, but this gives me a unique advantage that I see way more than I hear, what I saw that day left me with a warm sweet feeling in my heart and such assurance that no matter what happens in life this one family here is going to be great.
You don’t hear any raised voices in anger in this house, could be that there is but we didn’t see any evidence of that really ever taking place. You don’t see any would you go play and leave me alone you see a total acceptance of these two little girls to be totally involved in their Mom’s life, was awesome to watch.
I know that in the years ahead as these two young girls grow and develop into young ladies that they have a basic solid foundation to build there personalities on, that they have the love and devotion of a Mom that really wears the fact that she is proud of her girls, that she will always encourage them to strive to do better and to try all those new things out in life. She is behind her daughters 150% and she shows it daily.
I am not saying that anyone is not a good parent if they are not this way with their children, I am only saying that this young woman so totally gets it, being a parent, that the depth of wisdom in this lady is astounding.
She totally understands that she was given a gift to share and she treats these gifts daily as a special privilege to have. Is easy to tell by the way these three interact with each other this is the normal routine they share with each other.
To you Jean I can only say kudos to being the kind of Mom that many kids long for. That you are doing an amazing job at being a Mother, and those two beautiful young girls that you are raising can only become a huge part of the solutions to some of the problems the world faces. It will be a privilege to watch them grow into beautiful young women, who I am sure will be very talented in many areas, cause they have a really cool Mom.
Please do not ever lose that quiet graceful spirit you have now, you will touch many many lives with your gentle nature.
Blessings n’ hugs
Jul
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Longing
Well, doesn't that one little word open up huge possibilities within your mind, there are so many ways to long for something or someone and when you sit back and look at the world around you, the things one might long for is endless. I tossed this one around in my heart and mind for the better part of the day and well into the night trying to decide what I would do with this topic, many ideas wandered into my mind to be thrown out by my heart. Is tough to be one that writes from the heart, what you convey to the story has got to come from the heart if not, it is just not going to come together, will leave you feeling frustrated and ready to give up before you get started.
I have spent quite a bit of time pouring over many of your blogs, getting lost in your words and your ability to weave a story that one will stick with to see it through, knowing I do not have that within myself to do, almost quit blogging at all because I felt inadequate next to all the wonderful writers I was reading. Then to see the list of those of you who have actually been published, it was just okay wow you are so out of your element here. But I do like to share, and in sharing of course is the desire or rather the longing to be accepted for who I am and for what I write, and the way I write.
So, I am back and will be blogging weekly now, and will blog as I always have from the heart. I hope you enjoy what you are able to get out of my writing but also understand that no one person is loved or enjoyed by all.
Blessings n' hugs
Jul
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Money Tree??
Where? Okay I know, and have to say this will probably be last blog for a bit as we are in the process of moving. Wouldn't we all love to have one, not sure about that though if you think about it every single one of us has one there would be no need for anything, who would you buy from everyone is independently wealth as they can just pick it off of the tree to spend but who would work if you had that option? Wouldn't we all just choose to stay with our loved ones? Spend all our time with them?
Nope just wouldn't work, we have to have places to spend all that mass fortune. I think that we all want, some of us just want enough to get by on, others want it all, things they need and those they don't need.
I am pretty happy having my needs met each month that flows into each year. Sure like some of you I want to take that trip to see those lands that beckon to me, would love to spend each day strolling along a beach hand in hand with Cathy or watching the sunset in far off Scotland or Ireland. To welcome each day in a new location wow would be awesome. But then hey I think what we have is pretty awesome as well, the short little trips we get to take, fixing dinner side by side, enjoying each other in whatever it is we choose to do with our free time, the responsibilities of the day shaken loose and let go off for another day. At our age is difficult to find places that neither one of us has seen, but to find those and experience them together yep this is much better than a money tree.
I have always believed that God will take care of us, and you know what He does, we tell him what our needs are and every single time He meets them. To me it doesn't get any better than this, except maybe for more of the same.
Sorry no picture on this, having a heck of a time with the pictures can't even get it to upload one of me, so you will have to look at FB profile if you want to see the mysterious lady behind these blogs until I can figure it out.
Thanks for stopping by, hope you enjoy my thoughts on a Money Tree.
Have a great weekend and 4th of July
Jul
Nope just wouldn't work, we have to have places to spend all that mass fortune. I think that we all want, some of us just want enough to get by on, others want it all, things they need and those they don't need.
I am pretty happy having my needs met each month that flows into each year. Sure like some of you I want to take that trip to see those lands that beckon to me, would love to spend each day strolling along a beach hand in hand with Cathy or watching the sunset in far off Scotland or Ireland. To welcome each day in a new location wow would be awesome. But then hey I think what we have is pretty awesome as well, the short little trips we get to take, fixing dinner side by side, enjoying each other in whatever it is we choose to do with our free time, the responsibilities of the day shaken loose and let go off for another day. At our age is difficult to find places that neither one of us has seen, but to find those and experience them together yep this is much better than a money tree.
I have always believed that God will take care of us, and you know what He does, we tell him what our needs are and every single time He meets them. To me it doesn't get any better than this, except maybe for more of the same.
Sorry no picture on this, having a heck of a time with the pictures can't even get it to upload one of me, so you will have to look at FB profile if you want to see the mysterious lady behind these blogs until I can figure it out.
Thanks for stopping by, hope you enjoy my thoughts on a Money Tree.
Have a great weekend and 4th of July
Jul
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Control?? Hmm I think not.
What a topic, almost just let this one pass on by. Not much into control freaks, those that know what is best for you or so they think. Those that want to tell you that nope you can't do that or you should do this. Yep pretty much just going to let them go by the side, oh please do enjoy those they are able to control but when a person allows those words "You can't do this" slip out of the mouth towards me anyway danged if I am not going to do my best to do what I have been told I can't do.
Now don't get me wrong, if advice is asked for and then given that is way different. I love my Mother with all my heart she can be fun, we have some good times together but bless her heart she loves to tell others what they should and shouldn't do, me being top of that list because I am the one she sees the most. It is so hard to raise our parents lol they have to be taught that we are indeed adults like it or not, and can make our own decisions, right or wrong they are ours to make. I told her one time Mother for gosh sake I am 50 years old how do I have to be before you realize you can't tell me what to do anymore? Yep pretty much went over like a lead balloon.
Please understand that a lot of this is done in fun, she gives me hell I call her an old hag and tell her to knock it off, we both laugh and go on our way. She knows in her own heart that I am going to do what I feel I need to do for myself regardless of how she feels about it. She really is quite a grand old lady who will forever be 39, cause you know if Jack Benny can do it so can she.
Now taking all this into serious thought and consideration I have found that oh my gosh I have become my Mother, telling my kids they can't do this or that, oh gosh what the heck was I thinking? Fact is I wasn't, but when I did you could picture me stepping back and telling myself now Jul you have to let them do as they please it is their life after all, theirs to make or break and experience what they choose to. We don't often see eye to eye on what they do, and at times I cringe at what I know (ya know because we as Mom's are so smart and know it all) what the outcome of what they are about to take on is going to be.
In doing this I finally understand what my poor Mother has gone through all these years, but it still doesn't make what she or I did right. Just means we need to understand that we have to allow our control to slip and let everyone do as they want. I have noticed my Mother let herself relax a little these last few years and her making the statement many times that everyone has to live their own lives the way they choose and we have to allow them to do that.
So pretty much content to just sit back watch and see what happens, I would never dream of taking away any one's freedom, so not going to take away anything they might experience by making their own choices. Gotta say that at times it can be hard not to make a comment, but letting go of that control is good not just for me as I am no longer responsible for what they do, nor do I have to help them clean up the mess if there is one and can only smile and tell them good job when they do right.
Thanks for reading
Blessings n' hugs
Jul
Now don't get me wrong, if advice is asked for and then given that is way different. I love my Mother with all my heart she can be fun, we have some good times together but bless her heart she loves to tell others what they should and shouldn't do, me being top of that list because I am the one she sees the most. It is so hard to raise our parents lol they have to be taught that we are indeed adults like it or not, and can make our own decisions, right or wrong they are ours to make. I told her one time Mother for gosh sake I am 50 years old how do I have to be before you realize you can't tell me what to do anymore? Yep pretty much went over like a lead balloon.
Please understand that a lot of this is done in fun, she gives me hell I call her an old hag and tell her to knock it off, we both laugh and go on our way. She knows in her own heart that I am going to do what I feel I need to do for myself regardless of how she feels about it. She really is quite a grand old lady who will forever be 39, cause you know if Jack Benny can do it so can she.
Now taking all this into serious thought and consideration I have found that oh my gosh I have become my Mother, telling my kids they can't do this or that, oh gosh what the heck was I thinking? Fact is I wasn't, but when I did you could picture me stepping back and telling myself now Jul you have to let them do as they please it is their life after all, theirs to make or break and experience what they choose to. We don't often see eye to eye on what they do, and at times I cringe at what I know (ya know because we as Mom's are so smart and know it all) what the outcome of what they are about to take on is going to be.
In doing this I finally understand what my poor Mother has gone through all these years, but it still doesn't make what she or I did right. Just means we need to understand that we have to allow our control to slip and let everyone do as they want. I have noticed my Mother let herself relax a little these last few years and her making the statement many times that everyone has to live their own lives the way they choose and we have to allow them to do that.
So pretty much content to just sit back watch and see what happens, I would never dream of taking away any one's freedom, so not going to take away anything they might experience by making their own choices. Gotta say that at times it can be hard not to make a comment, but letting go of that control is good not just for me as I am no longer responsible for what they do, nor do I have to help them clean up the mess if there is one and can only smile and tell them good job when they do right.
Thanks for reading
Blessings n' hugs
Jul
Monday, June 6, 2011
Once I was Lost but now I am Found
Gosh can't help it, when those words are used together I can't help but think of the song "Amazing Grace", and I have no doubts that I am not alone. I think at some point in each one of our lives we have all felt this way and can relate to that song.
Those that know me should not have any doubts about my love and devotion to God so this blog does not need to cover that.
I have lost so many things in my life but heck when you are knocking on 57 how can you not lose something along the roads we travel? We each make decisions in our lives that take us down a road that many in our lives just refuse to travel along with us so those loses are the hardest to bear at times.
Losing my health probably hit the hardest gosh I was just a young 30 years and my kids were still in there early teen age years. I grieve over the years lost there with them, oh I spent the time with them but I was not spending the time doing what I wanted to. I was one of those Mom's who got dirty with them, who played ball with my boys. Who got out there and helped them build that tree house, except we didn't have a tree in that yard so it was a fort build from the ground up. I had a very open relationship with my boys, wasn't a question they couldn't ask me that I wouldn't answer for them somehow of course at times they didn't get all the answer their little minds couldn't process the whole answer but enough to satisfy them until they could understand. We were 3 spirits roaming the country seeing all that we could take in with our eyes. People use to tell me that I needed to settle down and sink in some roots show the kids some stability, I am so thankful that I did not listen to them and allowed my wandering spirit to do as we did. We have some amazing memories that would be nothing more than dust in the wind if I had of. And life goes on, the seasons cycle around and my boys are now older than I was when I got sick.
Yes as I have traveled this road in my life I have lost a lot, as I said we all have. But I have found peace, I have learned to cherish those moments in my younger years that I was able to do those things and to hang tight to those memories, and learned to make more not only that I will have but those I love will have to see them through when they feel lost. I have seen people walk out of my life and felt my heart being torn out and discarded as though it was nothing more than trash to be thrown away. I have a saying to my kids and this includes not only those that I gave birth to but those who have chosen me as a Mom, when life throws you on the ground you have nothing left to do but stand up, dust off and go on, God does not give us more than we can handle or bear, at times it is hard but we do get through it. This to shall pass, if you can only hang onto that thought you will come through anything. My peace is in wishing each and everyone the best life has to offer, and knowing I have a wonderful lady by side every step of the way.
In the end God will take me home and there is no greater peace than that. No better way to be found.
Have a great week all, thanks for reading.
Blessings n' hugs
Jul ♥
Those that know me should not have any doubts about my love and devotion to God so this blog does not need to cover that.
I have lost so many things in my life but heck when you are knocking on 57 how can you not lose something along the roads we travel? We each make decisions in our lives that take us down a road that many in our lives just refuse to travel along with us so those loses are the hardest to bear at times.
Losing my health probably hit the hardest gosh I was just a young 30 years and my kids were still in there early teen age years. I grieve over the years lost there with them, oh I spent the time with them but I was not spending the time doing what I wanted to. I was one of those Mom's who got dirty with them, who played ball with my boys. Who got out there and helped them build that tree house, except we didn't have a tree in that yard so it was a fort build from the ground up. I had a very open relationship with my boys, wasn't a question they couldn't ask me that I wouldn't answer for them somehow of course at times they didn't get all the answer their little minds couldn't process the whole answer but enough to satisfy them until they could understand. We were 3 spirits roaming the country seeing all that we could take in with our eyes. People use to tell me that I needed to settle down and sink in some roots show the kids some stability, I am so thankful that I did not listen to them and allowed my wandering spirit to do as we did. We have some amazing memories that would be nothing more than dust in the wind if I had of. And life goes on, the seasons cycle around and my boys are now older than I was when I got sick.
Yes as I have traveled this road in my life I have lost a lot, as I said we all have. But I have found peace, I have learned to cherish those moments in my younger years that I was able to do those things and to hang tight to those memories, and learned to make more not only that I will have but those I love will have to see them through when they feel lost. I have seen people walk out of my life and felt my heart being torn out and discarded as though it was nothing more than trash to be thrown away. I have a saying to my kids and this includes not only those that I gave birth to but those who have chosen me as a Mom, when life throws you on the ground you have nothing left to do but stand up, dust off and go on, God does not give us more than we can handle or bear, at times it is hard but we do get through it. This to shall pass, if you can only hang onto that thought you will come through anything. My peace is in wishing each and everyone the best life has to offer, and knowing I have a wonderful lady by side every step of the way.
In the end God will take me home and there is no greater peace than that. No better way to be found.
Have a great week all, thanks for reading.
Blessings n' hugs
Jul ♥
Thursday, May 26, 2011
EXPECTATIONS
I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get this one done this week, it has been a busy one. I love this topic as I have taken the time to read some of your post I do as Beth did see a lot of you not really setting any expectations on just about anything. The reasons are varied, some of you are just at a low point in your life and have been beat on so much that you don't dare expect much of anyone save yourself.
I think we all do that though, expect certain things of ourselves that we do not expect of others, sort of I am responsible for me and me alone the rest of you are on your own ..... totally understand that line of thinking been there many times myself. Yes I expect myself to be kind to others and treat them as I want to be treated, I expect myself to show mercy to those who are at the end of their ropes and maybe even show them how to climb back up.
What are my expectations for me? Oh I am in a wanting mood so they are high at the moment. I have fought for so many years to overcome SLE, I expect to win this battle, yes I do. I expect to make a move we are planning and the doors we need opened in order to do that to open for us, yes I sure do. I expect to get up each day and thank God I have it, but have it the way my dreams are seeing it. Selfish I guess but hey this is mine and these are things I expect.
Not talking about having a bank full of money, not that it wouldn't be nice, but this is my expectations and reality does need to figure in here somewhere. You see I do believe that anything and everything is possible providing you are willing to work for it and not give up. After all through God all things are possible. So with that in mind imagine those things being completed and imagine you living that life, believe with all your heart and you are going to be so surprised.
Thanks for stopping by :)
blessings n' hugs
I think we all do that though, expect certain things of ourselves that we do not expect of others, sort of I am responsible for me and me alone the rest of you are on your own ..... totally understand that line of thinking been there many times myself. Yes I expect myself to be kind to others and treat them as I want to be treated, I expect myself to show mercy to those who are at the end of their ropes and maybe even show them how to climb back up.
What are my expectations for me? Oh I am in a wanting mood so they are high at the moment. I have fought for so many years to overcome SLE, I expect to win this battle, yes I do. I expect to make a move we are planning and the doors we need opened in order to do that to open for us, yes I sure do. I expect to get up each day and thank God I have it, but have it the way my dreams are seeing it. Selfish I guess but hey this is mine and these are things I expect.
Not talking about having a bank full of money, not that it wouldn't be nice, but this is my expectations and reality does need to figure in here somewhere. You see I do believe that anything and everything is possible providing you are willing to work for it and not give up. After all through God all things are possible. So with that in mind imagine those things being completed and imagine you living that life, believe with all your heart and you are going to be so surprised.
Thanks for stopping by :)
blessings n' hugs
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